Why Leadership and Responsibility Is Important In Understanding Mass Shootings


As someone who was bullied by many, I have always sought out loners as friends, as friendship and support is what I wanted for myself when I was bullied. However, not all loners are fortunate enough to have good friends, and some even experience friendship bullying. As a result, sometimes (often) the victim becomes the perpetrator in an attempt to take back power and get revenge.

Ever since the first shooting, I’ve firmly believed that the shootings are a result of apathy and angst (from a feeling that things are stacked against us), a sense of hopelessness to affect change, the fruitless search for any real meaning to our lives, and a lack of true leadership. When I say that, I mean leadership in all segments of society, from political, religious, and corporate institutions, and particularly the family of origin itself. Just as all humans, these shooters sought belonging, validation, and a cause to rally behind. Some people would rather fight for the wrong cause than no cause at all, and that’s one of our problems. Some believe that all people do the best they can given their understanding of the world. If all they see is a world that glorifies and rewards hatred and violence, then that is something we need to change.

There are no more or very few noble heroes nowadays, because the news does not find them to be newsworthy. Therefore, people are choosing competitive winners who take advantage of each other and the systems that made them winners. Alternatively, we have incapable leaders ignorant to secondary effects, such as self-help gurus and life coaches, “solopreneurs” (individual entrepreneurs) motivated mostly by paying bills to support their family alone, and investment frauds who made money by telling people how to make money. Worst of all, we also have cult leaders and gang leaders who expand emotional abuse past a one-to-one relationship and damage one’s ability to trust.

Another one of the problems is the fact that humans tie their self-worth to money and status that they believe that those with less money are not worth as much as they are. And yet another problem is the fact that people do not question what they are taught.

People, including my husband, don’t have role models not just because there is not enough representation, but because leadership is not a quality that motivates enough people. Back in the days when apprenticeships proliferated, being perceived as someone with good character was enough to incentivize and reward people to be good people even if it was mostly under the guise of one religion. When Baby Boomers talk about the good ole days, it’s not because they’re white nationalists, but because they remember when people were hospitable to each other and equated charity with love.

Our leader might be good at following through with action, but even if he acts on what he thinks his constituency wants, he is doing it the wrong way. Even if he continues to react out of defensiveness from media portrayal, we need a leader who knows the effective use of emotion. Pete Buttigieg is an example of such a leader, and he has a service plan to give young adults purpose and meaning. However, I’m not just endorsing one candidate; everyone has good ideas that no one else is talking about, such as Marianne Williamson’s idea that if we make this country the best place to raise a child that we will solve a great deal of our social ills or Andrew Yang’s idea that automation is a threat to our nation. As for automation, we’re losing jobs to automation because critical thinking is so underused that we don’t even value each other’s intuition and judgment over a robot’s emotion-free logic.

Please let’s stop making it an issue of who’s the villain in this political charade. The Ohio shooter was a Democrat, so that argument does not hold. As with prison reform, this is a bipartisan issue, and it takes more than just surface-level magic bullet gun control to solve it.

What the nation needs is education in the following:

  • Bullying prevention;
  • Depression and the different types (in plain language without too much psychobabble);
  • Healthy relationships;
  • Quantum physics so people understand the value of how spirituality connects to the physical world; and
  • Personal finance and geography, as most people don’t realize that many of our current issues could be better understood with those two.

The nation also needs the following policies, whether public or private:

  • All health insurance to pay fully or in part for mental health counseling;
  • Providing awareness of art therapy, gym memberships, and/or other therapies that are proven to work for mental health;
  • Enforcing anti-monopoly laws;
  • Extended family leave for both new mothers and fathers;
  • Free online, phone, and face-to-face support groups for everyone, not just addicts, with and/or without professional involvement;
  • Free or affordable marriage counseling, per Andrew Yang’s proposal
  • Implementation of bipartisan background checks AND red flag laws (as background checks were not enough to bar the most recent shooters who acquired guns legally);
  • Implementation of the triple bottom line in businesses, which values both people and the environment;
  • Service to the community, per Pete Buttigieg’s proposal, to get out of our own heads;
  • Social media reform, including time limits to avoid spending time on comparison and eradication of anonymity; and
  • Video game reform.

But, most importantly, what the nations needs is taking personal responsibility via the following ways:

  • Changing our thinking on an individual level about synergy vs. separation;
  • Constituting ourselves as community (shoutout to Landmark Education(TM)), which means, in a sense, to not just to love one another as ourselves, but also to take responsibility for the world we created at both a spiritual and physical level;
  • Focusing on what we want instead of what we don’t want;
  • Focusing on what we’re thankful for instead of what we bemoan;
  • Giving youth a community where they can affect change;
  • Opting for transparency and sharing among different segments; and
  • Taking actions to affect positive change rather than placing blame on our political parties, our leaders, our schools, our corporations, our government, our banks, etc.

It takes more than a nation to raise a child; all inhabitants of this world have a responsibility to every single person. We are all one. Consider the ways that you can affect positive change by writing your own list.



Right after National Coming Out Day, we heard the news regarding the proposed rule affecting trans rights across all government agencies.

As a speaker on behalf of the Goth community, I understand that the implications of our rights are intricately tied to those of the trans community, and for some it overlaps. We are dominoes; if one falls to erasure, then another one will follow, but if one is raised up, then the other can be raised up too. I urge you all to focus on positive action steps, not negative thoughts. This will be short and brief. I don’t have much else to say except to take positive actions toward supporting a trans-friendly organization, such as GLAAD, HRC, or Lambda Legal in terms of money and/or time. By all means, if you haven’t already voted, make it a point to vote. And, as always, be yourself, and stand for yourself.

Your Identity Doubles as Community Service


Are you ready to do community service? Many times people associate that word with punishment. But is it really? Don’t we all seek a job that would fulfill us? What best fulfills us? Giving and serving with a cause we believe in.

When you claim your Gothness, you have a moral and ethical obligation to be a representative of all Goths and to serve all Goths. The way to best serve other Goths is to be your absolute best, authentic self. When you are yourself, you give license and permission for other to be themselves. In that way you make them “licensed” Goths; you are paying it forward, making it easier for another Goth to feel safe, loved, and appreciated in this world. Since ours is an underserved community, we must take particular care to keep the community healthy (and alive!) Think of your unique talents and abilities and consider ways that you can give to the community. (I don’t like to say “give back” since you didn’t take anything). When you have come up with your list, narrow it down. What will best serve the Goth economy? What will best serve all dimensions of a Goth or similar person person in a similar culture?  I don’t like saying “subculture” because we do not subordinate ourselves nor should we.

One way that I serve the Goth economy is through Toastmasters. Toastmasters is a safe environment for socializing and  professional growth. Adding Goths to Toastmasters is a twist on the tried and true.

If you live in the Denver area, consider joining next week. For more information, see Freaks Who Speak Toastmasters Club.

Freaks Who Speak Toastmasters Club

What: Freaks Who Speak Toastmasters Club
When: September 18th from 7-8:30PM
Where: Scum of the Earth Church @ 935 W 11th Ave, Denver, CO 80204
Who: This will be an open club. There is an 18+ age requirement to be an official member, but all ages are allowed to participate in meetings to some extent. Normie allies of the Goth community are also welcome.
Why: There are many introverts with stories to share in the Goth community, but also few job skill trainings and resume-enhancing trainings targeted specifically to the Goth community
How: District 25 will provide a demonstration meeting to see if there is interest in the Goth community. Something like this has never been done before now!

Toastmasters Flyer

Features Benefits and Value Chart

Welcome to Lavoce’s Directory


Do you ever get a nagging feeling that you should be doing something more important than what you are doing most of the time? I have had this feeling, and it’s been getting under my skin. You see, I have a pet project that I have worked on for some time. It is not perfect, but I have finally come to the realization that, with the limited time I have to work on such a time-consuming project, it may never be perfect, so I have decided to finally share it with you even though it’s still (and forever) in progress. I give to you Lavoce’s Directory: the most comprehensive and up-to-date (as in this decade, not the ’80s) Goth directory ever to be found on the Internet. The formatting is not the best and it’s not always in alphabetical order, but it is more useful for reviving the Goth community on the Internet than it is on my desktop. Even this introduction might not be the greatest introduction to such an amazing time-consuming project, but I hope that you can get some use out of it. Here you go!

Lavoce Directory

If you have suggestions on how I can improve it, please email me at lavoce.wap2@gmail.com. After I have posted the PDF online, I will be abandoning the PDF and will be moving it gradually to a software that will do a better job of formatting the directory for the Web. See the outline I have here: www.stylefreedominfomediary.com. I urge you to check in on my progress, but please be patient.

Fashion Freedom is the Final Frontier 2


Fashion freedom is the final frontier for anti-discrimination laws. We all agree that you can’t change your skin color, age, or gender (unless you try really, really hard and are determined). Many agree that you can’t change sexual orientation today. However, not everyone agrees that you can’t change your fashion style. I argue that clothing and body modifications reflect personality and culture, which are both ingrained and are both aspects of one’s identity, as are the intricately connected values and priorities that come with them. The suppression of freedom of expression in a country that values freedom of expression, and the denial thereof, points to an entire society’s complete hypocrisy. A suppression of personality, culture, and identity, as well as the belief that certain people must conform and alter who they are not only to be liked, but to survive, destroys not just a country, but an entire world.

Lavoce’s new, simpler logo is representative of Lavoce’s changes.

Business Logo

Lavoce’s New Business Logo

Lavoce has gone through many concept changes since 2010. The original idea of Lavoce was that it should be a bookstore, then the concept changed to relationship coaching, and now the concept of Lavoce is as the producer of the world’s largest alternative lifestyles print directory plus the potential to evolve into the cross between a temp agency and consulting agency.

But even though the concept of Lavoce changes, the mission and focus has always remained the same. No matter how much Lavoce (and its logo) changes, it will always have the same soul—a soul filled with compassion for the downtrodden and oppressed.

The attack on who we are as human beings is more destructive than an attack on our race, age, or gender for it goes to the very root of us and what makes our life worth living. It is the ego’s final push to make us all pliable, willing subjects to an authority’s rule. The suppression of our style is different from any other type of discrimination that was brought to light before for it does not seek to contain us in a box, but to move us from our natural state of being into a way of being that seems natural for others who are not ourselves. We must not kowtow. We must not give in.


Fashion Freedom is the Final Frontier

The New Plan: The Four Ss


I have discovered a new nonprofit ally of the cause in the Sophie Lancaster Foundation. We now have a plan.

With the four Ss we can make our dreams a reality:

To remember why we’re doing this, take a look at the typical office dress code. The below only covers casual business attire when authorized.

Appropriate Appearance

To convey a positive image to customers and guests, our employees are required to dress in appropriate traditional business or, when authorized, business casual attire.

Appropriate Business Casual Attire


  • Blouses, collared shirts
  • Sweaters, turtlenecks
  • Slacks (khakis, chinos)
  • Skirt, culottes, or skorts, (with the fullness of a skirt)
  • Blazer, sport coat
  • Casual shoes


  • Collared shirts
  • Sweaters, turtlenecks
  • Slacks (khakis, chinos)
  • Blazer, sport coat
  • Casual shoes

Inappropriate Attire

  • Jeans of any color
  • Bicycle pants, leggings, stretch pants, spandex Warm-up or exercise clothes
  • Sundresses (spaghetti straps, strapless, backless, halter)
  • Shorts
  • Halter or tank tops
  • Tee-shirts
  • Revealing or low-cut blouses or dresses
  • Clothing which exposes one’s midriffs
  • Athletic shoes (sneakers, tennis)
  • Beach shoes, flip-flops
  • Torn, cut, worn, or frayed clothing

Lavoce’s New Mission

I took a one-year hiatus from Lavoce because I knew I needed that much time to reformulate the plan of action. Now there is only one month left, and I have finally decided what to do and why the original plan had failed.
Lavoce’s New Mission:
To make the world suitable for freaks and make freaks suitable for the world.
At first I thought Lavoce should be a library of books and resources that allow people to really understand freaks they know and similar freaks. But who would fund this? And who reads books anymore? Then I thought it needs to be an online retail shop with a coaching program because it needs to make money somehow. But why would I need to take my sustenance from others who are worse off than me?
Now I have thought about Lavoce being a job training and reentry program. It will not just be a reentry program for ex-convicts, but for anyone who left mainstream society of their own will in the belief that they could not be themselves within it. Of course, there will still be a small retail component, but it will mostly be there for raising awareness.

Before I start such a long journey into researching the ins and outs, I believe I will write a  book that can be used as the textbook, Formal Freaks. The plan is to make punks, Goths, tattooed people, skaters and outcasts into professional punks, grown-up Goths, trusted tattooed people, sharp-suited skaters, and generally, corporate outcasts. It will be for the people who are outcasts that want a better paying job to pay their bills and increase their standard of living.

Don’t get too excited. This entire project is still many years in the making, but it will get done eventually because…


IMPORTANT: Please Share


This is a bit different from what I normally post, but a local friend asked me to post this as it is important to increase awareness of this issue.

Please read the following links in order, then make your own conclusions.

1. Read “What’s Really Happening in Syria” by Foster Gamble audio transcript from Thrive Movement (www.thrivemovement.com): http://www.thrivemovement.com/whats-really-happening-syria-new-world-order-assault-middle-east.blog#transcript

2. Read “Aaron Alexis and Extremely Low Frequency Attacks: Truth or Fiction?” from The Washington Times Communities: http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/freedom-press-not-free/2013/sep/26/aaron-alexis-and-extremely-low-frequency-attacks-t/

3. Read “Capitol Suspect Miriam Carey Believed Obama Electronically Monitored Her” from ABC Newshttp://abcnews.go.com/US/capitol-suspect-miriam-carey-believed-obama-electronically-monitored/story?id=20470498

4. Read “Miriam Carey’s Family Says DC Chase Suspect Was Not Delusional” from Associated Presshttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/07/miriam-carey-family-sister-not-delusional_n_4057556.html

5. Read “Two DC Attacks and a Series of Unfortunate Coincidence” from Canada FreePress: http://canadafreepress.com/index.php/article/58379

6. Read “Why I Believe Jesus Will Return to Earth During My Lifetime” at www.endtime.comhttp://www.endtime.com/blog/why-i-believe-jesus-will-return-in-my-lifetime/

Always There For You



We’re there wherever you are. For the first time, Lavoce has a mobile site, which you can make into your very own mobile app. All you need to do is type in http://m.stylefreedominfomediary.com on your phone (if you forget, don’t worry because you’ll be redirected). If you have an iPhone (I know a lot of you just went out to buy the iPhone 5 and want an opportunity to use it), then just press the icon at the bottom of the screen and select “Add to Home Screen.”