Post-Halloween Blues: “You Can’t Have It Both Ways”


Happy Belated Halloween. I hope it was better than mine. I intentionally didn’t put an exclamation mark there because, frankly, I was throwing myself a pity party. When you still can’t be fully yourself even on the one day when it’s allowed, it can get a little depressing. My dad said to me “you can’t have it both ways.” I can’t have a job that pays the bills and allows for comforts AND be myself, and, likewise, I can’t be myself AND have a job that pays the bills and allows for comforts. There’s something wrong with this statement. Maybe now it’s true. Maybe in DC it’s true. But it shouldn’t be true. It shouldn’t need to continue being true, not for our children’s generation. No, not for them. Something has got to give. And it’s not going to be me.

Remember why we are here. We represent rebellion. We are the visual representations of rebellion. In order to suppress change in society, the easiest thing a society can do is to suppress its rebels. Do you hear me? A fight against us is a fight against change and a fight against freedom. It is a fight against all humankind. American society today that strangles freedom by its throat, that cuts off freedom’s purse strings, is not the type of America that I would support. The only type of America I would support is the America of freedom. The America of free expression.

I have heard some say that the spirit of Christmas should be year round. I believe that for people like us the spirit of Halloween should be year round too. I generally mean that we should be able to wear whatever we want whenever we want to wear it. We shouldn’t have to suppress who we are. Another aspect of Halloween is that it’s scary. Yes, it is a little scary when people want to go changing the world, but if it’s a cause you truly believe in, then what’s a little fear? A little fear with a lot of guts–that’s called courage. I encourage you all to be courageous in the midst of suppression.

Again, I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to do what you can do to change this. I was hoping to be the one who could change this singlehandedly, but that’s unrealistic, and I need some help. So what I’d advise everyone to do now, again, is to go to STAPAW and support them. If you want to support us both, then I’d advise you to wear a gray ribbon. When someone asks about the ribbon, you can tell them about Lavoce: We Are People Too. We need as many friends and supporters as we can get.



Since it will take a while for Lavoce to accomplish its goal, I want to direct you to Support Tattoos and Piercings at Work (STAPAW). Their goal is essentially the same or similar to Lavoce’s but they are more well established. I first found out about them through Pinterest. Please support them in their efforts through donations or volunteering. Just because Lavoce is a business doesn’t mean that I put profit first. I put the cause first and everything else comes after. I would be very happy if you could all donate time and effort to STAPAW. The link is below:

Time to Take a Stand


For most people, they might have one time in their life in which they were courageous, maybe a handful of times. For me, being who I am is courageous. Every day I have to remember to be courageous. Every day is an opportunity to let the world know who I am. My existence is a political act by God. My existence reminds people that there are paradigms outside of their own. My being me seems to narrow down possibilities of where I can work, how much money I can make, who I can marry, etc. My being me puts me at odds with the world around me. People want me to explain why I am me. They would never ask others something like that, but they ask me. Why I was born this way I do not know. All I know is that I am me, and there’s no changing that, and I don’t want to be someone else. Oh people have all those platitudes about “just be yourself,” not really realizing how much that puts my livelihood at risk, how much that puts my life at risk of relationship loss, but there gets to be a breaking point when you realize you can’t keep living a lie. There comes a point where you realize that no one really knows you, and it makes you feel lonelier than if you really were lonely. There gets to be a point where you realize it’s all up to you. You have to buy the clothing, the tattoos, the body modifications yourself. It all comes out of your paycheck. And once you do all of it, you might not even have a paycheck anymore, but that’s the risk you take just for being alive, just for being alive and being able to feel, being able to feel outside and uninvited. It takes a lot to get someone there, but in the end, it’s time to stop playing their game and time to play ours. At a certain point you have to just go all out and to hell with what people think, even if they hold your livelihood in their hands, even if you’ve grown up with them all your life, even if you would die for them, but they won’t do the same for you. At a certain point, you have to stand up for yourself because, dammit, no one is going to do it for you. They can’t unlock your cage, if they can’t even see you’re in one. Only you have the key. Only you have the power, not to change your destiny, but to accept it. And that acceptance in itself is a very powerful thing that changes everything.

Related link

Being Authentic-A Matter of Courage:



The Oxford English Dictionary defines “pavisand,” a verb meaning “to display an impressive or opulent array of clothing and ornament; to flaunt one’s appearance.”

Goths, freaks, and other fashion-oriented types (including the tattooed) live lifestyles of pavisanding. To us, there is no other way to be. Our bodies are works of art. We are artists first and foremost, and we want the world to know. I was expressing this to my mother the other day. She looked at me with a confused expression and gave me the trite question: “But isn’t that a phase?” Here we go again. You’ve all been there, haven’t you? You all know what it’s like to explain. I don’t know if it’s a personality type thing or not (like maybe only the introverted feel the need to express what their mouths do not), but for some reason it is a real challenge expressing why we express who we are. Apparently, many people do not feel the need to self-identify for strangers. My father tells me that he doesn’t understand why homosexuals feel the need to express who they are, thinking that what is one’s entire identity is merely a private act that should be kept secret. My mother tells me that she doesn’t understand why I also feel the need to state that I’m an adoptee, as if the fact that my race, being different from my parents’ race, should also be a private and secret thing even when it is clearly visual and easy to see even for Captain Obvious, and is an important fact to convey to a medical doctor. What are your feelings on self-expressions of identity? Why is it important to you? How do you explain this to others? I remember taking a philosophy class on identity. What a challenging class! Is identity even important? Why do we obsess about who we are? Why does it matter? Leave your comments below.

Freaks Don’t Come From Ghettos


Who are freaks?

I do not use the term in a derogatory way to refer to people born with deformities or disabilities. I use the term as descriptive of a subculture of people who own and claim the word as their own for lack of a better term.

If they don’t come from the ghettos, where do freaks come from?

Freaks come from the suburbs, mainly, and sometimes from populated cities. They are mostly white, but not always. Their parents were probably overbearing. They grew up in a world of conformity, and found it too restrictive. Maybe they were not allowed to wear makeup or listen to rock music, but did anyways. They went to a secondary school. They had an intimate taste of being bullied and could withstand it (if they’re still alive). They have to be thick-skinned by necessity.

Why is this important?

This means that freaks, though formerly privileged, took the road less traveled to stay true to themselves. They are idealists and artists. Their bodies are their canvasses. Most of them are ISTP or INFJ personality types, according to Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. This is important to understand because this means that these people have employable skills. Though they might not have the right look for public relations, they might be good behind the scenes. One type is good with detailed artwork, crafts, construction, graphic design, music, etc. They might be good at IT or help desk call centers. The other type is good with people and empathetic skills, such as counseling, coaching, or selling online. They are good at working with people who had substance abuse issues, experience homelessness, or other challenges that nonprofits work tirelessly to eradicate. They are friends of those who need friends the most. They value their idealism more than they value a high paycheck. With enough motivation, they will work hard for you and stay loyal to your company. These are people you should have in your court, either on your corporate team or in your network of friends. So why don’t you give them a chance?

A New Business Model


Hi, everyone. It’s been a while. I said I’d get back to a more regular schedule in January, but then I came down with a fever, and then there’s all this snow, but enough excuses…Being open to new ideas, I have come across a few new terms, such as “voluntaryism” and “delight-driven learning.” I am now 200% convinced that educational reform could bring about world peace, but many have tried and many have failed to take into account the challenges of change management. How does this affect Lavoce? Besides what I can do to make a change in my family, one child at a time (I hope), this will affect the entire philosophy and underpinning of Lavoce policies. Simplified, Lavoce will have a philosophy of voluntary involvement, which means no coercion, use of force, or anything akin to grading, testing, or compliance to standards. What performance-based records are kept, if any, are understood to be descriptive, rather than proscriptive, and an objective indicator, rather than an enforceable law. I want innovative, problem-solving partners, not soldiers and not someone like that woman from a Coming to America who was raised to obey her husband and have no independent thought of her own. I don’t care about your past, all I care about is your drive to change the world. I will “ban the box,” and ask only about any records when I can get it from your mouth. If you prefer robots, statistics, discipline, and the scientific method (which is actually too controlled to be non-influenced by humans), then Lavoce is not the company for you. Lavoce is a female-owned corporation, and with a woman’s intuition comes a human (and forgiving) touch.

What I’m Thankful For


I am thankful for likeminded people who are supporting a healthy attitude toward style that is all too often ignored. Just because I have a blog specifically geared toward the more fashion eccentric, I believe that at the core of it is an admirable mission to be happy in your own skin and to feel that others support that. One of the likeminded people I discovered is Katie Cassidy, author of the blog, Tomboy KC. True, she may be more mainstream than the people I would normally promote, but I think her sentiment is one that I can relate to. In Shape magazine, she states “I hope it [my blog] empowers people to express themselves through their clothing. Women are often trying to figure out who they are and what they want to do with their lives. Creating this site has been a big part of my personal journey.” Please see it for yourself if you are so inclined. I will first direct you to her manifesto:


An Example of a Corporate Goth


A friend just introduced me to a website about sacred geometry. I will not actually be talking about sacred geometry here. What really struck me was the man’s professional attire in the introduction video. I believe he is a very good example of a corporate goth. Take a look at his professional, but Goth-y* attire here:

For more examples, see his assistants here:

If you’re actually interested in sacred geometry, you can continue on with the first site. However, if it’s a little above your head, but you’re still interested in a toned-down version, check out their other site:

This is not an advertisement for their products. This is merely to show everyone what I had in mind with my vision for Lavoce.

*I said “Goth-y” instead of Goth because I do not know how he identifies himself.

Happy Halloween, America!


Halloween is Lavoce. Freedom is Lavoce.

Halloween is an American holiday. Freedom is an American ideal.

Lavoce is America.

Flag of the United States of America

Flag of the United States of America (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Happy Halloween, America!