I attended a GLBT club on my college campus for years, and no one came up to introduce themselves. I’m still bi. I went to every Goth nightclub in Denver almost daily, and made no new real lasting friends in the Goth scene. I’m still Goth.
It may seem sad that so-called welcome societies are not so in reality, to the point where people end up with a take-care-of-#1 mentally, but the point here is that by seeing others being themselves, it gave me license and freedom to be myself without the need to be liked, by normies or by Goths. Just knowing that I’m not alone (and that I’m safe) is enough for me to stop feeling lonely (and in danger of losing myself).
My condensed immersion in the scene resulted in me being able to carry the Goth spirit wherever I went. No, you’re right, I had that before I got here.
True Goths do not need to be surrounded by other Goths all the time. And, in fact, many Goths around the world are surrounded by other Goths rarely. People who are true to themselves never need to fit in to love themselves.